A lot of us have made a couple of resolutions towards achieving a lot more this year. These resolutions however may be difficult to achieve if we still hold on to anything or anyone who holds us back, or gives us reasons to go back on our words. If we are not firm in our dealings, we’ll find ourselves going back on our words.
Flee from anyone or anything that holds you back. There’s no need holding unto them because they would only limit your level of success and achievement.
To be honest, life itself is already complicated. Our responsibility to ourselves and to our families is to be victorious. It is our own responsibility to be successful. So if anyone or anything comes in the way of our success we ought to leave them.
For instance, you have to study in the evenings but that’s when this friend of yours is usually free and has time to visit; please flee. Sometimes you’ve got to think about yourself a lot more. Besides, whoever wishes you well would understand you need to read and would give you space. Or you have certain tasks assigned to you at the office but your friend is always lonely at home and needs to chat with you often… so instead of being productive at work, you decide to please your friend while your company goals are not met.
My point is this, often times, we get so used to being kind to people that we end up sacrificing our lives for people who do not really deserve it. We ought to love ourselves a lot more. You owe yourself success. So do not throw that away for any reason whatsoever. Move with more goal oriented people who would push you to do better. Or better still, keep very few friends. Run away from people who limit you. Run away from those who are insensitive to your own needs. Whoever wishes you well would push you to achieve your goals.
A few weeks back, I bought some really nice bracelets. Although they were quite cheap, they were fanciful and I loved them. I wore them to work some days later and this colleague of mine admired the bracelets, and before I knew it, he started asking me to give him some. I really hate going to the market, so it was a really great achievement knowing I was able to go to the market myself and buy them. So I blatantly refused to give him. He insisted, and I too insisted, I couldn’t imagine going back to the market again to buy them. So I blatantly refused. Eventually, he stopped disturbing me and asked me not to worry. My first reaction after he stopped insisting was to feel guilty and give him the bracelets he asked for; but on a second thought I realised I didn’t really do anything wrong. It’s not like he needed the bracelets to survive, or he was a poor man that couldn’t afford one. The only thing giving him would have done was to either stress me out by making me go back to the market, or make me walk around with my arms plain.
Certain sacrifices or strains are not really necessary to be really honest. Quit punishing yourself all in a bid to appear nice. Be a little more unconcerned about what people would think. The only person whom you would account to is God. In all that you do think only about Him.
A lot of ladies are stuck in abusive relationships too. By abusive, I’m not talking about physical abuse (I don’t really understand why anyone would remain in such a relationship in the first place) I’m talking about emotional abuse. You are a Christian, you know what is right, and your conscience disturbs you; but your partner doesn’t share the same values with you. You should leave. Yes you love him/her but he/she doesn’t obviously love you, or he does love you, but he doesn’t understand you like he ought to. Please flee from such nonsense.
Let’s learn to look out for ourselves more often. The fact that you’re a Christian shouldn’t make you a slave to other people. Always do what makes you happy. Be true to yourself. Hold tight to your values because that is your identity. It defines you, and how far you would go.
You have to learn to be firm to be happy in life. Know what you want, know where you are heading, and do what you ought to do. Just be happy. No one can take care of you like you. Try to build only healthy relationships. Come out of whatever stresses you out unnecessarily. Say No without feeling guilty.
Back then in school, I’ll come back from lectures tired and hungry. Then I’ll hurriedly prepare something for myself to eat; only for my roommate who was lying down on her bed as at when I got back from class to come with a plate telling me she’s hungry. If this happened once or twice or thrice, I’ll understand. But no. it happened every day. She’ll meet other roommates on different days. And her bag of foodstuffs was still full.
Although most times, I didn’t really have the guts to tell her I couldn’t give her, I regret that now because it was so obvious she was taking advantage of us – her roommates. One of us however, was a bit more firm and would flatly tell whoever asked her for food that she prepared it just for herself and couldn’t give anyone. That roommate was my role model to be honest! Because it would have been a different ball game if the person was really broke. But that was not it; It was the beginning of the semester and everybody had foodstuffs. The only issue was that everyone hated cooking. So while some, worked extra hard to combine cooking their meals and attending lectures, others would rather attend lectures, study, and then come to beg for other people’s food.
I wouldn’t say everyone should behave this way. Because a virtuous person would gladly give food to people even when she knows they are only taking advantage of her. So let your reason for giving food to such people even when you don’t want to, be because of your charitable spirit and not because you’re not bold enough to say no.
May God bless us with the strength and wisdom to walk through this life’s journey victoriously. Amen.