To some people, forgiving those who hurt them has never been difficult. While to others, no matter how hard they try, they can’t seem to let go of the hurt they feel towards one who offends them. They never forget and they keep holding it against them. Although some honestly want to forgive, they really can’t help the feeling of hurt and anger that arises whenever they see or remember that person who hurt them.
When someone offends us, we after a while, admit that we have forgiven them, and no longer hold it against them. However, few days later, when we remember what they did, we get angry again and start cursing them. We now have to remind ourselves over and over again that we have forgiven them and we ought to let go.
This has led me to believe that forgiveness is possibly not a one-time thing. Forgiveness is not just about admitting with our mouth that we have forgiven the person who hurt us. As many times as we remember a hurtful event, we ought to forgive that person who hurt us. We ought to forgive them over and over again.
For some people, the only time they gladly forgive someone is when they see that person suffering. They usually believe that such a person is suffering for their crimes! Lol! For instance; a lady told me the story of her classmate who bullied her in secondary school, making her secondary school days a living hell. She held a grudge against this lady for many years. However a few years later, she heard that this classmate of hers went through a lot of hardship while in the university; she kept failing her exams, got pregnant outside wedlock and got expelled. Immediately she heard this, every strand of anger she felt towards her disappeared and it turned into a mixture of pity and satisfaction. It made her feel like karma already fought for her and she no longer had anything to be angry about. It became easier to forgive her.
This shows that an unforgiving spirit is not entirely related to the level of hurt or pain you feel. You refuse to forgive because you are angry. Angry that in spite of what such a person did, he keeps flourishing. You are in fact jealous at their ability to hurt you and still exist. You believe that karma owes you. You believe that he should suffer for what he did, and until you see it with your eyes, you’ll never let go of the anger and hate.
But you forget that the more you hold grudges against people, the more you hold yourself back from greatness. You forget that God does not look at a man who has not forgiven his brother. The man who offended you might have repented of his sins and become worthy of God’s presence, while you as a result of your ignorance and recalcitrance has decided to remain unworthy to stand before God, or even talk to Him.
Throw away every garbage of hate or resentment in your heart. Keep your heart pure and full of love. Allow Jesus to sleep restfully in your heart. Weed out every ugly thing within you and allow God reign in your heart peacefully.